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LOCI Fanfic: Progeny - Chapter 1

Title: Progeny

Author: e.helena (a/k/a elfluvr)

Summary: He remembered that he'd cried the night he decided never to have children of his own.

Disclaimer: Thanks Dick Wolf, René Balcer, Vincent D'Onofrio and Kathryn Erbe. I've hurt no one, made no money, and put everyone back where I found them.

Feedback: Please! It's always welcome

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A/N – I'm going to start this off with a few warnings. (1) This story is so far off of what Dick Wolf, Vincent D'Onofrio and Kathryn Erbe would consider appropriate for the series that it's practically A/U. (2) If you're not a shipper, you may want to reconsider reading any further. (3) The rating will change to M at the third and fourth (final) chapters for explicit sex. If that's not your thing, you probably don't want to go any further.

Anyone who has seen the movie "Claire Dolan" will recognize the opening dialog. You have that movie to thank (or blame) for inspiring this story. (Awesome movie for VDO fans, by the way.)

Chapter 1 of 4 - Progeny

"I want to have a child." Alex stated simply.

Bobby looked into her eyes, searching for uncertainty … searching for conviction. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," her response was immediate, her voice unwavering.

He thought about her request and how much she must want this to have found the strength to ask him. "I understand," he murmured.

"Do you?"

"Yes," he quickly answered. He did understand. "You … you want to have my child."

"Yes."

They were at her apartment. Eames had specifically invited him over that afternoon, which in itself was odd. Not that he didn't spend time with her at her place, or she at his, but it was usually as a result of work. Either they worked late one evening and felt like relaxing with a drink afterwards, or files were taken home and spread over a coffee table while they ate Chinese take-out and drank coffee until the early morning hours.

Bobby ran his hand through his hair and then, closing his eyes, he grasped the back of his neck as he tried to figure out how the hell to respond to her. It occurred to him that he wasn't as shocked as he should be, perhaps because in the most secret corners of his mind, he'd toyed with the idea of children and 'happily ever after' with her. But this was reality not fantasy, and there were more things to consider than simply the logistics of the whole thing.

He opened his eyes and cocked his head to look at her, still rubbing the back of his neck. "Eames, you know about my mom. You know schizophrenia can be inherited."

"I know, Bobby … but there are always risks and there are never any guaran-…"

"No!" He took a step to turn toward her and swung his hand away from his neck. "This isn't an unknown factor. You know the risk. You can't make that choice!" Bobby was adamant about this. Of the many heartbreaks in his life, the one that haunted him most was a decision he'd made long ago, after he'd learned as much as he could about schizophrenia. He remembered that he'd cried the night he decided never to have children of his own. But he'd always held out hope that one day he would meet someone he loved enough to marry and they could adopt. Or, as he got older, he thought maybe he would meet a divorced or single woman who already had children.

"Bobby …" Alex started to argue with him, but stopped when he put his hands on his hips and stood his ground with determination.

"Alright … alright." she said quietly. "Let's talk about this … it's important." Alex walked over to her dining table and sat down. She clasped her hands on the table in front of her and looked at him expectantly. Bobby shook his head, but went and sat down opposite her.

"You were, what … seven? … when your mom's disease first manifested itself?"

He nodded. She already knew that.

"That would have been … 1968." Again he nodded mutely.

"Bobby, you've said yourself they didn't know much about treating schizophrenia back then. You told me the medications that today work on younger victims don't have much affect on your mom because she went undiagnosed and improperly medicated for so long – her disease was so far progressed before she could get proper treatment." Eames was throwing his own words back at him. This is what comes of talking too much during those long, dull hours during stake outs.

"Think about it. Think about the changes and the advances that have been made in the areas of treatment and management of the disease in the last thirty-five years."

She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. "Now … think about how much farther they will have come in twenty or twenty-five years – the time when it would likely occur in …" Alex stumbled over her choice of words, then continued confidently "… in my child."

Alex paused, perhaps waiting for her words to sink in. "Bobby, it's not a certainty that a child you … father … will develop schizophrenia. But if that happened … it won't be like it was with your mother."

He looked to where her hand rested atop his and turned his over so they met palm to palm. Bobby ran his thumb back and forth along the outside of her hand while Alex curled and uncurled her fingers, stroking his palm.

"Please, Bobby," she whispered. "I want to have a child before it's too late for me. I can't think of anyone else I would want to …" her voice broke with emotion.

The part of him that could never deny her – the part of him that had always hoped – was gaining dominance over his reasonable side … his sane side. She'd obviously done her homework and given this a lot of thought. Her arguments made sense.

What if he said no? She might actually go to a sperm bank … or find someone else. The thought of someone else fathering her child shot a spark of anger into his spine. Alex was pushing the edge of a healthy age for a woman to have a child. She was definitely right in one thing – she didn't have much time. If he said no, how long until she considered an alternative?

His decision made, he brought his eyes up to meet hers shimmering with unshed tears. "So how, uh … how do you … want to do this?"

Alex's face lit up with her smile, and then she blushed as the implication of his words struck her. She looked to where her hand still rested in his and quietly said, "The old-fashioned way would be good."

Bobby blew out a breath. What the hell? Did he really just agree to this? He wrapped his fingers around her small hand then reached for her other across the table. Alex looked back up at him, her eyes still shimmering, but now she looked happy.

"How …" he hesitated then decided to just plunge in. "How would you like to go to dinner tonight?"

She looked surprised. "You mean, like a date?"

"Yeah … like a date."

He never would have thought she could manage to look shy. "I'd really like that," she smiled softly.

"Okay." Bobby gave her hands a gentle squeeze before releasing them and standing. "I'll pick you up at 7:00. And wear something, um … nice," he said as he headed toward the door. "I have a place in mind."

"I'll see you at 7:00."

Chapter Two

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
gorengal
Aug. 23rd, 2008 12:36 am (UTC)
*hugs* I've missed you so! We must catch up soon. Is it ok if I friend you? :)

(The story still rocks, btw.)
e_helena
Aug. 23rd, 2008 12:57 am (UTC)
Absolutely 'friend' me!! I'm still learning how to navigate this place, so I may be bugging you ... A LOT!

So good to hear from you!
gorengal
Aug. 23rd, 2008 04:27 am (UTC)
I know everyone says this in these situations, but seriously I was thinking of you earlier this week, wondering if you ever moved to NC and how your job was...and thought, I need to email Nancy. :)
nnaylime
Aug. 23rd, 2008 12:54 am (UTC)
Hi there - I'm uisge_beatha's roommate. She volunteered me to make a banner for you, so I thought I'd check and see if you had anything specific in mind, or just go Goren/Eames w/ instructions on how to set it up *g*
e_helena
Aug. 23rd, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
Hi! I've heard a lot about your design skills :-) I'm perfectly happy with letting you design something and provide instructions to me (trust me ... I'll need them!).

Thank you so much for you help!

--Nancy
nnaylime
Aug. 24th, 2008 02:40 pm (UTC)
Okay! I've got your banner set up here.

I designed it to go with this layout.

I think her instructions on how to set it up are pretty clear. What you're going to want to do is just copy & paste the code how she instructs and then where it says "how to add your background header, just stick in the following URL http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v704/nnaylime/e-helena-banner.png You can let uisge_beatha or me know if you have any questions *g*.
e_helena
Aug. 24th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
LOCI
I LOVE everything about this (most especially your wonderful artwork of Bobby!), except the green background of the main content. I've tried copying the html into Note Pad and replacing the color code so the green background is the same as the brown backgound of the header (under e_helena), but nothing happens when I put it back into the Custom CSS instructions.

HELP!
nnaylime
Aug. 24th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Re: LOCI
Try using the css version on the left w/o the background pattern, or try removing the following line "url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v388/grrliz/other/layouts/free/37_bg.gif) top center repeat" from the code *g*
uisge_beatha
Aug. 23rd, 2008 12:55 am (UTC)
I am so thrilled you're on LJ now! Of course you know how much I love this story -- I think it might be the very first of your stories I ever read (then I began to stalk you at ff.net, LOL.

You're characterizations of both Bobby and Alex are spot on. You manage to show Bobby as senstive and nurturing, without making him weak. A fine line to walk. And with Alex, I love you finding the vulnerability in her, which we all know she hides so well. The way you write the two of them is, simply put, stunning!

Looking forward to seeing you post all your wonderful fic here so I can appreciate again and again and again :-)
e_helena
Aug. 23rd, 2008 01:09 am (UTC)
You are just way to kind to me and my stories! But trust me, that's not a complaint :-) Thank you for all your help, encouragement, and praise!

--Nancy
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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